Day 25-- More dreams.

Had a dream I told my boss about P. It was so real, I woke up thinking I did it.

Dream I was pregnant, and thought I was due soon, but I was worried, since I didn't feel so pregnant. Suddenly, my water broke, and a baby slipped out. I breastfed him. I called Jan to tell him he had a son, even if he didn't want to speak to me. I was worried the baby would die, since they always did. But I wanted to enjoy whatever time I had. The people I was with were trying to get me to the hospital.

P. called-- this was not a dream-- to ask me for time to straighten out his life a little bit before I made a final decision. He said he couldn't make me any promises because of his commitments to H. right now but that he realized he loved me and wanted a future with me. I wish I could believe he was really capable of making choices on his own. But I don't. Could I ever trust him?

J. is alternately mean and kind since I broke contact. I wonder why I didn't do it long ago. I had to call him last night since our shared cat was ill. He (the cat) is okay. I was stressed, however.