I am a moron. A little over a year ago, my husband left me for another woman. I rebounded gracefully by beginning an affair with my married best friend. For the last year I have made myself and everybody else crazy with this mess. Starting today, I am breaking contact with both of them. I need my life back. I need to feel good about myself. Will you help?
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Day 6-- My husband
Called me. Did *not* take the call-- go, team me. Left voicemail criticizing me for a number of things. It's a lot easier to hear over voicemail, let me tell you.
Even I fail at no contact with Patte, it seems to be working with Jan.
I read all your comments before posting my comment. You are correct attempting no contact but you are failing miserably. Of course it's easier to ignore your husband. He betrayed you. You know about that. What you are not facing is that patte is betraying you as we'll. he is lying to you more than he is lying to his wife. You know that. You have to face it. He's a liar otherwise he wouldn't be with you. You are buying his crocodile tears. It's fake. If he wanted to be with you he would. He's making excuses and you are choosing to believe them. Quit buying into the fantasy. NO CONTACT. Good luck. I hope I've helped
I read all your comments before posting my comment. You are correct attempting no contact but you are failing miserably. Of course it's easier to ignore your husband. He betrayed you. You know about that. What you are not facing is that patte is betraying you as we'll. he is lying to you more than he is lying to his wife. You know that. You have to face it. He's a liar otherwise he wouldn't be with you. You are buying his crocodile tears. It's fake. If he wanted to be with you he would. He's making excuses and you are choosing to believe them. Quit buying into the fantasy. NO CONTACT. Good luck. I hope I've helped
Thanks, and you could well be right. I tend to believe he's *not* lying since we have been good friends for such a long time. But I could naturally be wrong about that.
You are for sure right that he wants it both ways, and that his tears are coming from the fact he needs to make a choice. What I'm trying to make clear to him is there is no choice. He needs to focus on his family, and not me.
I'm now talking to my therapist how to finish cutting the contact now that I've ended the affair. She's encouraging me right now to end it respectfully, as long as it doesn't drag on too long. I'm trying.
I hope so. I sooo get the attraction to you BF in this hurtful time. Please don't get me wrong. I also think you are hurting so much you are fantasizing about what the reality is with your AP. You worked hard to be someone you thought your husband needed and now it sounds like you are trying to be what your AP wants. As I said my H kept encouraging me to "go out and find someone"! Seriously I would look at him like a dog tilting my head with that WTF did you just say look. I could have found someone that night just for a revenge or to stroke my ego. Hold my hand, listen to me cry whatever but I KNEW I would be taken advantage of and used. I really think Patte is doing that. I think he's using you. He sounds very selfish. This is just an opinion from someone way outside the story. Stay strong, NO CONTACT, get solace from you girlfriends. Let him work his own anguish out, You cannot help him with that. Maybe it's time his wife knew? Then you would see his true colors. Think about it. Affairs only work, especially for men, in the dark.
I read all your comments before posting my comment. You are correct attempting no contact but you are failing miserably. Of course it's easier to ignore your husband. He betrayed you. You know about that. What you are not facing is that patte is betraying you as we'll. he is lying to you more than he is lying to his wife. You know that. You have to face it. He's a liar otherwise he wouldn't be with you. You are buying his crocodile tears. It's fake. If he wanted to be with you he would. He's making excuses and you are choosing to believe them. Quit buying into the fantasy. NO CONTACT. Good luck. I hope I've helped
ReplyDeleteI read all your comments before posting my comment. You are correct attempting no contact but you are failing miserably. Of course it's easier to ignore your husband. He betrayed you. You know about that. What you are not facing is that patte is betraying you as we'll. he is lying to you more than he is lying to his wife. You know that. You have to face it. He's a liar otherwise he wouldn't be with you. You are buying his crocodile tears. It's fake. If he wanted to be with you he would. He's making excuses and you are choosing to believe them. Quit buying into the fantasy. NO CONTACT. Good luck. I hope I've helped
ReplyDeleteThanks, and you could well be right. I tend to believe he's *not* lying since we have been good friends for such a long time. But I could naturally be wrong about that.
ReplyDeleteYou are for sure right that he wants it both ways, and that his tears are coming from the fact he needs to make a choice. What I'm trying to make clear to him is there is no choice. He needs to focus on his family, and not me.
I'm now talking to my therapist how to finish cutting the contact now that I've ended the affair. She's encouraging me right now to end it respectfully, as long as it doesn't drag on too long. I'm trying.
And you've helped. Thanks for reading.
I hope so. I sooo get the attraction to you BF in this hurtful time. Please don't get me wrong. I also think you are hurting so much you are fantasizing about what the reality is with your AP. You worked hard to be someone you thought your husband needed and now it sounds like you are trying to be what your AP wants. As I said my H kept encouraging me to "go out and find someone"! Seriously I would look at him like a dog tilting my head with that WTF did you just say look. I could have found someone that night just for a revenge or to stroke my ego. Hold my hand, listen to me cry whatever but I KNEW I would be taken advantage of and used. I really think Patte is doing that. I think he's using you. He sounds very selfish. This is just an opinion from someone way outside the story. Stay strong, NO CONTACT, get solace from you girlfriends. Let him work his own anguish out, You cannot help him with that. Maybe it's time his wife knew? Then you would see his true colors. Think about it. Affairs only work, especially for men, in the dark.
ReplyDelete