Dream last night that I was fighting with my husband. I was trying to talk him out of ending our marriage.
I woke up shaking, and angry.
The content of the dream isn't so special. After Jan left, we were having that kind of conversation nearly daily. I didn't understand how things could go from happy to hateful so quickly. I still have trouble with how much he seems to hate me, given that he left me.
I'm amazed, though, that my sleeping self is still spoiling for a fight. For the first time in months, I had to put myself back to sleep with a fantasy of him being found dead. When he first left, I was devastated. And now it seems all that's left is angry desperation.
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